You may have heard of the popular old saying “the truth is bitter” which sounds simple yet so complex as most people struggle to come to terms with harsh truths and realities that they encounter. Much of our purest form of happiness hinges mainly on the positive results we get out of life. What needs to be heard but is hard to accept, from being scared to chase a few life goals because we desperately can’t afford to fail to the dark time killing habit of procrastination, idleness, or complacency… accepting some of these hard truths about life, will undoubtedly contribute immensely to your happiness this year and beyond.

1. Not everyone is going to like you

Remember those very popular Secondary grade/high school mates whom the whole school simply couldn’t get enough of? The girl who was the spice of the whole school seniors or the funny boy who could get everyone rolling and laughing hard by just uttering a few jokes? Yep not everyone will be like them, life isn’t a contest of who has the most likes. The fact is after a few years of your adult life we naturally have to come to terms with the fact and sad reality that everyone can’t like you. Even for those previously mentioned old schoolmates, life will stick it to them at some point when they all of a sudden manage to pile up a few haters. So instead of trying to make sure everyone likes you, focus all your efforts on being a better version of yourself. People could dislike you for the most absurd reasons, it could be the way you walk, the confident way you talk, or even the way you gently go about your business. You will have to learn to live with it as long as you are not deliberately trying too hard to make people hate you.

2. You are not defined by what you have

Most noble people try to make themselves believe money doesn’t matter too much or isn’t everything. Whilst you might have a point by outlining that “money isn’t everything”, it surely can’t buy happiness in its entirety for sure. However, it does help in relieving our minds of stress and catering to our daily needs. You sure will need to pay a lot of bills, a roof over your head or get your partner those lovely presents you wish to buy them. That said, money and what you can provide do not necessarily define who you are or your essence as a person. You may have that sleek foreign car and a huge house but you are not necessarily better than someone who lives in a little apartment or hops buses to work. Regardless of what you have or how much you are worth, most people you come across will have their perception of you simply based on your interactions with them and the type of impact you can make in their life eventually.

3. Your feelings are caused by your thoughts

This might sound a little bit confusing but read closely. We don’t feel some certain way about something because of that thing or the“cause” itself. The reality is that our feelings are due to our perception of that thing or situation Our constant thoughts create our feelings and our feelings determine our behavior or response to situations we encounter. Therefore if you want to feel or approach situations differently, start with your thoughts, take a step back and evaluate for a bit longer why you feel the way you feel, and condition yourself to reflect on those thoughts in a different light as it all starts with you and your perception.

4. You always have a choice

Like it or not, We always have a choice. We are not always victims of external circumstances. It could be a case of being smacked harshly by a bully, getting neglected by a trusted friend, or treated like you don’t matter, the fact is you can decide how you respond to situations and you are fully responsible for the choice of choosing to either take the degrading pain in most scenarios. If someone shows a total disregard for your wellbeing, it is completely acceptable for you to walk away. The reality is that the way people treat you depends on what you allow. If you command respect, people will respect your choice and most likely be respectful to you but if you act like a doormat, people may continue to walk over you.

5. You are probably not that relevant.

Take a second to remember one of the most embarrassing moments in your life as a kid, a nasty fall at your school playground or when you had your clothes stained. These are arguably some of the things we would be embarrassed about growing up and you probably wondered if those events would be talked about for the rest of your life. Well, thinking back right now gives you a strong reminder that everyone more than likely moved on from it. In the grand scheme of things, just as you are caught up in things going on in your life, other people are equally concerned about their issues. People might remember some uncomfortable truths about you or some incident that probably brought a lot of shame to you at some point, but after a short while would most likely never remember or moved on from it. Try to worry less about how pivotal your affairs/roles could be in other people’s lives.

6. If you don’t learn to be accountable, you may be held accountable.  

Your words and decisions have consequences on a personal level. If you don’t hold yourself accountable for what you utter or decide, chances are someone else would. As we grow, naturally there will be a need for people to be called to certain responsibilities. But not to worry, the need to be mature drives people to become sensible adults. On a larger scale, responsibility is key in maintaining order in society. On a smaller scale, it helps us maintain our credibility thereby helping us be better for ourselves and the people around us.  

7. People want you to do well but not better than them.

While some people genuinely want you to succeed, others may just want you to do well until you appear to outperform them or threaten their position. Be conscious of other people’s motives and don’t waste your energy on some people who seemingly don’t have your best interest in mind. Ignore the detractors or oppositions because all you need to do well for yourself or better than anyone is your complete focus, dedication, persistence, and unwavering endurance towards ensuring you attain your life goals.

8. There is no perfect time to do anything.

Most people often tend to wait for the best possible time to do something or simply to adopt a change that their life lacks but regardless of what it is, you may always be able to come up with some excuse not to start something. Whether it’s a lack of money, your age, or a busy schedule, the reality is the perfect time or condition doesn’t exist, and that thing you have been stalling on may never get done unless you go for it at any particular time starting now. There’s a popular saying “You can plan a pretty picnic but you can’t predict the weather” so get your umbrellas or jackets out, don’t wait any longer…be ready for anything and just do it!

9. Someone has it better or worse than you.

Life is one hell of a rollercoaster. The fact is that whatever we are up against could be better or even worse compared to the situation of another person. Don’t make the regrettable mistake of comparing yourself to other people, it is counter-productive and often disruptive since everything in life is relative. There will be the basis for healthy competition as we grow in life but what might be a cakewalk for you can turn out to be a major challenge for another and vice versa. Always be compassionate to yourself and others because we may never know what some other people might be going through.

10. Fear will keep you from living a happy life.

It’s natural to experience fear especially when we encounter something new. It’s a biological response to the unknown. We must not allow our fears to hinder us from trying different things. Instead of being afraid of the unfamiliar situation, approach with excitement and curiosity. Some things might seem uncomfortable in the beginning, but it ultimately sinks in with time once we abandon our fears as something great rarely happens in our comfort zones. Greatness is reserved for those who are bold enough to step out of their comfort zones. If you don’t face your fears, it might easily lead to missed life-changing opportunities and I am pretty sure no one wants that.

11. Can’t Have Everything.

Take for example adult life, when most people try to look for a way to have a perfect social life/work life, as well as adding up a few other activities, chances are that you might find it messy. The same applies to back in your school days, if you want a perfect GPA, a great run about with your friends, and amazing extracurricular lined up, chances are that you are likely to struggle with this arrangement. Taking on too many responsibilities can weigh anyone down so it’s important to try to prioritize as much as possible because it is almost impossible to get everything on point. Sometimes, you could wish you had something that could prove evasive to you. Maybe it’s about time to admit to yourself that you may never just get it. Fact about life is when it’s time to draw the curtain on our time on earth, something deep down will remind us of a few things we could have had in our possession or some things we could have done differently. It’s therefore extremely important to have it at the back of your mind that you might not be able to get everything! Even as pessimistic as this might sound, it’s just how life works and the hope of achieving new goals and setting new targets when we get up in the morning is actually what makes life worth living even if the goal isn’t attainable short-term and long-term. So take a breather and learn to prioritize everything and ultimately achieve inner peace and happiness through steady progress.

12. Social media/internet could be your blessing and your curse.

Social media or the internet is undeniably one of the most important parts of our daily lives. It’s a great way to stay entertained, learn, and connect to family and friends. There’s however a thin line between the positive impact and the dark mental implications of constantly comparing yourself to the various social media stories and posts of people you see. You have to take into consideration the fact that people are most likely to post the best moments of their life or sometimes the most unrealistic things via some skewed angle they wish for observers to see. Instead of constantly scrolling through pages and making subconscious or clear comparisons of what you aren’t sure of, look for more inspiring podcasts, or blogs and get on the good side of the internet by getting inspired, making impactful connections, and positive affirmations from the right social media pages. Also, learn to know when to spend some time off the internet when it starts to bother you as this might go a long way to protect your mental health and general productivity.